Why is it hard to find a man to marry after 35?

Why is it hard to find a man to marry after 35?



Not being able to find someone to their liking is a situation that bothers both women and men. However, in recent years some women “not finding a man to marry” They’re talking about a problem they call. So, does such a situation really exist? Especially by some women from their 30s “There is no man left to marry” Look at what writer and speaker Carlyn Beccia has to say about this problem.

It was our third meeting with an attractive, intelligent, well-dressed and successful lawyer. At one point in our conversation, he told how he cheated on his wife while he was married. He had been with prostitutes hundreds of times. It was gone within minutes. On the other hand, his honest confession was almost dazzling. I was very curious; If you don’t intend to sabotage yourself, why would you admit that to someone you just dated?

I asked a few of my friends. The answer to one of them was quite enlightening. My friend said that the ex-wife openly allowed this, and the man made this confession to see if he would get such permission from me. By doing so, this guy I was dating actually told me indirectly what he was like. Here I had to turn to myself and see if I was a woman who would agree to be with such a man.

“I said no. “I don’t have to.”

It is difficult to say that I am hopeful that I can establish a life partner with a man of good character. Fortunately I am not alone. Most women over the age of thirty-five I have a question he asks in my mind: “Where did the good guys go?”

Economics and game theory have an answer: The Proper Undergraduate Paradox. * (The Eligible Bachelor Paradox.)

Game theorist Mark Gimein argues that the “dating pool” of eligible men is for women. after 35 years developed it to explain why it shrunk. First of all, it should be noted that the expressions in this theory and the perspective that may seem far from the principle of equality between the sexes reflect Gimein’s personal views. Although his theory is not scientific, it attracts attention by finding a response in some people.

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According to Gimein, women or men who are found attractive in society are evaluated on the “high or low quality” spectrum. While socially considered “quality” women are attractive and socially adept, they hold the majority of power in dating settings. That’s why they can match up with the “right men”. As these women age, the “dating pool” of eligible singles is getting smaller and smaller, as high-profile, so-called “quality men” easily associate with less selective women.

As the number of eligible singles in the neighborhood dwindles, “high-profile” women continue to compete for the same limited number of high-quality men. But these women do not lower their standards. This is mostly because they have the power to decide in the direction they want and are used to it. Moreover, they do not realize that their flirting power has decreased and they continue to be happy in this way. Of course it’s a matter of preference. Also, more and more women decide to stay single and move on with their lives. In dating settings, this results in fewer of the most desirable men in society and more of the eligible single women.

Strange as it may sound, there is some basis for this theory. The Eligible License Paradox is illustrated by data from dating apps. 2019 Pew Research Century company to his research According to the results, 57% of men and only 24% of women said they did not receive enough messages.

Aviv Goldgeier, an engineer at the dating site Hinge, offers an explanation for this inconsistency. 5% of men get 41.1% of total likes of all women on dating apps. These men, who have the highest profile, make up the 5%. In other words, while the so-called “normal men” are ignored, attractive men attract all the attention. In contrast, women with the highest profile, namely the top 5% of dating apps, receive 30.6% of the likes of men. Half of the men with the lowest profile among men only get 4.3% of the likes of all women. But half of the lowest profile women get more, 7.9% of the likes.

Looking at socioeconomic reasons, statistics show that women pay attention to their partner’s financial conditions, while men care about women’s physical characteristics. When it comes to education, this paradigm turns upside down.

Looking at the US, more women than men have bachelor’s and master’s degrees. According to 2018 data, more than 57% of university graduates were women. The master’s degree gap was even wider – 59% women versus 41% men holding a master’s degree.

The truth is that getting more education is associated with greater economic independence and economic security. Those with a college degree earn almost twice as much as those with a high school diploma alone. And while women still earn less than men in the same job, the wage gap between men and women disappears for childless women. Unfortunately, most eligible bachelors living in urban areas don’t particularly care if a woman is smart, educated or successful. Statistics show that men primarily care about whether women are attractive. Thus, educated women compete with more women, but there are fewer available single male options. And if they live in the countryside, those looking for a date have fewer options than those in the city. When all these factors are combined, the results are better understood.

Today’s women do not live in the same conditions as previous generations. As a woman today, if you choose higher education and postpone marriage, you can get financial security for yourself what your grandmother would get from a partner. But you also run the risk of never finding a life partner. If you do not choose to be educated and work, you may be dependent on your spouse. Worse still, your partner may be someone who threatens your freedom, physical and mental health.

Most women don’t want to choose a man by bank account. It is easier for a woman with economic freedom to choose a partner based on factors such as courtesy, intelligence, humor, and loyalty than a woman without financial freedom. The crux is that most men don’t want an independent woman who can pay their bills. Although some reject it, it is possible to say that there are still many men who feel this way, especially in traditional societies. That’s why we have a lot of women who are fed up with the dating options that come their way. On the other hand, there is another problem beyond disappointment; fertility issue.

Because of the dwindling number of eligible single men, many women decide to put off or abandon the idea of ​​marriage and having children. This leads to a decrease in the young population and an increase in the elderly population. As most demographers warn, devastating economic consequences for a society dominated by an older generation are on the horizon.

It should be noted that many of the generalizations made above vary both culturally and include biological elements. It is necessary to take into account many variables such as education level. But the data don’t lie. Despite the stereotype that “opposites attract,” research in biology shows that people choose those who share similar traits. This leaves many of us in a difficult conundrum; Lowering the standards to stay single or choosing to be single? This question is the subject of a separate discussion.

Kaynak: Carlyn Beccia. “Why is Finding a Good Man so Hard for Single Women Over 35?” Şuradan alındı: https://medium.com/fearless-she-wrote/why-is-finding-a-good-man-so-hard-for-single-women-over-35-d87a602fc081


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