Most of us think that when we get married, we are taking a step towards eternal happiness. We believe that no matter what happens, a way will be found through love. But in fact, it takes a lot of effort to keep the marriage going. It is also useful to get ideas from experienced people while walking on this difficult but beautiful road. Winifred Reilly, an American couples therapist, has been married for 40 years. Here are some of the things he learned through this marriage:
Remember that your marriage is a partnership, not slavery. Of course, it is important to get what you want, but your partner does not have to meet all your expectations. You both have to accept this and run your marriage that way.
You must know to take responsibility for the difficulties in your life. It is easiest to blame the other party for the problems experienced, but remember that this will only wear out your relationship.
You both have different personalities, which puts you at a crossroads: either your life becomes colorful and magical, or you both go crazy. If you are a person who is open to new ideas, you can turn your marriage into a fun adventure.
Treat your discussions as opportunities to help improve your relationship. Because these discussions with your partner give you information about your strong and weak tones. At the same time, remember that fighting reflects your need for help, attention, or support.
When you’re in a heated argument, ask your partner what he or she thinks. This simple question will quench the fire of your fight and get you to look at it from a different perspective. It also shows that you care about your partner’s opinion. But while doing this, be careful to listen carefully to what the other party has to say. This way, you can see what points you missed while focusing on your own thoughts.
Forgiveness is one of the most important things you need to learn. Remember that both sides can make endless mistakes. Therefore, when your partner makes a mistake, thinking that you may make the same mistake one day makes it easier for you to forgive him.
If you want both parties to contribute equally to your relationship, it is useful to reconsider this thought. Sometimes it’s natural for one party to take more responsibility than the other and pay more attention to certain things. Therefore, you should never hesitate to take responsibility and know that your partner will not be able to meet all your expectations.
There may be times when you are very busy. Even during these times, don’t forget to say good morning to your partner and give him a kiss on the cheek. This little kiss will help keep your relationship fresh.
Although the relationships and lives of the couples around you may seem smooth to you, remember that they too have problems they are trying to overcome. The problems you are experiencing do not indicate that you or your partner have major problems. On the contrary, it makes your relationship stronger and closer.
Sometimes you may think that you are not in love with your partner or even that you hate them. This is a normal situation. You don’t need to jump to absurd conclusions right away. You should take advantage of this situation and review your relationship and put a stop to what went wrong.
“I will never argue about this again!” You shouldn’t think. Because you will never find someone who thinks exactly like you. There will definitely be points where you disagree.
It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been married or what difficulties you’ve been through together. Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of arguments that don’t make sense to either of you. In such cases, you should not lose sight of the fact that the issue is unimportant.
Remember that life is very short. So stop arguing for reasons you can’t even think of tomorrow and enjoy your marriage.