While love is one of the most complex human emotions, it can also be considered one of the most basic emotions. Although there are many theories about love and psychologists recognize that love is one of the most basic human emotions, there is still no clarity about why and how love happens. Today, there are four theories explaining love, emotional attachment, and liking.
Connecting: The need to be with someone else and get attention from them. Affirmation and physical contact are important components of attachment.
Care: To care about someone else’s needs and happiness as much as your own needs and happiness.
Proximity / Privacy: To share your special desires, feelings and beliefs.
Passionate love: Passionate love has intense sexual desire, attraction, fondness, sensuality, and a very strong desire to be together. Passionate love tends to be short-lived, lasting between six months and twenty months (but can later turn into tender love).
Compassionate love: Compassionate love includes devotion, respect, affection, loyalty, and emotional intimacy. Compassionate love takes longer than passionate love.
Hatfield also distinguished between mutual love, which gives happiness and satisfaction, and unrequited love that causes despair and despair. According to him, there are some basic factors for love to be mutual or unrequited:
Timing: Individual’s ready to fall in love …
Similarity: People tend to fall in love with those who look like them.
First attachment styles: Long-lasting and deep relationships are often the result of strong bonding. There is not much attachment in people who are in love or whose love ends.
John Lee thinks ‘6 types of love’ is like a color scheme.
Eros: Both physical and emotional love for a person.
games; Love played like a game or conquest (it can happen with several people at the same time):
Storge: Love born of friendship, formed over time.
Mania: ‘Mania’, the combination of Eros and Ludos, is an obsessive love affair. It includes emotional ups and downs, jealousy, and very possessive feelings.
Pragma: Pragma, a combination of ludos and pragma, is a love for practice. The parties start the relationship with the awareness of their goals, expectations from the relationship are realistic and practical.
Agape: Agape, the combination of eros and storge, is an inclusive and devoted love.
Proximity / Privacy: Being close, supporting the other, sharing with him and feeling loved.
Passion: The feelings of sexual desire, attraction and euphoria, it is this emotion that unites two people.
Loyalty: A desire to stay loyal to someone and a long-term relationship.
It can reach seven different combinations of these three components.
Liking or friendship: It reflects friendship that includes intimacy and strong bond but no passion and commitment.
Hit or passionate love: It is what those who experience love at first sight feel. There is no commitment or intimacy. The hitting may be temporary.
Empty love: Relationships in which intimacy and passion are lost, but in which two people still feel strong attachment to each other.
Romantic love: Romantic love includes passion and intimacy, sexual interest, and emotional bond, but no attachment.
Friendly love: No or no more passion; but still a great attachment and a devotion to one another. This kind of love is seen in family members, close friends and marriages.
Stupid love: Passion and devotion are seen in this type of love, but there is no intimacy / intimacy.
Perfect love: It is the ideal state of love, in which there is passion, attachment and intimacy. Sternberg argues that once this state of love is attained, it is not easy to protect it; indicates that it may not even be permanent. And he adds, for example, that if passion fades over time, the perfect love will turn into friendly love.
Psiko101 / Accelerated Course in Mental Science / Paul Kleinman / Okuyanus Publications / Translator: Hasan Kaplan