As my capacity to witness increases and I move away from identifying with what is going on and thinking about my feelings and thoughts as me, some things become more visible. I notice my cycles and patterns in my life more and more easily.
As I told you last week I am in a process where I know myself quite powerful and deal with many things simultaneously. But whatever happened, I started going through a little fall again two or three days ago. A dissatisfaction inside me; I am a part of me that gnaws me deep somewhere while everything is going so beautiful and enjoyable … Fortunately, I can say welcome when these kinds of things happen. Sometimes I can see clearly where it comes from, sometimes I can’t but I know that in any case the situations about me are surface. Sometimes I confront the state and emotions that show them, and sometimes I can sweep them under the carpet while passing through them. Although the first option is of course more preferable, I don’t always have the energy for it, I can go easy, or sometimes I don’t know how to deal with it, I can’t think of getting support, and in these situations I pass it off. I better not do it, but thanks when I do, my dear.
I better not do it; because all kinds of difficult situations that I have not resolved and have not gone through appear again and again in life. Unless I look at him, he comes back patiently and stare at me and “see me!” says. At some point I see things, I move a little further on my journey and after a while I see that it has come again. So much so that in similar situations, I see that similar thoughts are triggered, and the thoughts that devour myself and disturb me come in almost the same order, in exactly the same ways. Here in these situations I learn more if I prefer to stay rather than run, otherwise less. But anyway, I’m on my way, that’s for sure.
They say that the journey of life flows in a spiral, not a straight line. This is where we go through similar experiences over and over again, even though we are constantly moving forward. “But I took care of this!” You haven’t fully done it, you see it again, dear, but don’t worry. You have surely made progress, your vision is more or less developed, and the reason for all this to come up again is nothing more than knowing yourself a little more, being a little deeper in life. Do not be afraid and branch in, as much as you can dive; as much as the resources, energy and resources. If you can’t dive deep, don’t be upset, don’t beat yourself up; In the spiral, you will pass close again and again, and life will offer you new opportunities.
When the tare is low, you don’t need to be afraid or worried. Once you get out of there, you will be relieved. But when it rises, do not think it is over immediately. There will come a time, you will experience the lows again. As I understand it, ups and downs are inevitable, until you reach the so-called enlightenment or perfection. If you turn your focus to yourself, you will take what you have to take from these ups and downs, and your journey on the spiral will accelerate, you will move forward in bigger circles. Even if you don’t do that, it’s okay, progress is inevitable, your destination doesn’t change. I mean, they say so … But maybe you will go through a little more difficult experiences, maybe you will extend the road, maybe you will have a little more pain. However, our destination is certain, the conjunction cannot be prevented. We have always been together, but we could not comprehend it. This is what is said – and I think the real thing …
In our online circle last night, I tried to explain the confusion that started to occur inside me when my tongue turned. I opened myself to vulnerability; I disclosed the worries and congestion that arose inside me. Without trying to appear strong, as the person who opened the space, I exposed myself without poses of transcendence. What kind of compassion the 12 people listened to, how beautiful space they took to me … And how to quickly heal, quickly get out of stuck …
This time, it came and went. Stay blowing until the next fall …
The human part is a guest house,
Someone new comes in every morning.
A joy, a crisis, a cruelty,
Suddenly realizing something
All unexpected guests.
Meet them all and do!
Sweeping your house brutally
That emptied all your furniture
Even if a crowd of sorrows comes.
Host every visitor with your forehead.
To bring a new pleasure
They emptied his house.
Dark thought, shame and grudge
Greet them all laughing at the door
And come in.
Be grateful to every comer
No matter who comes.
Because each of them
A guide on the other hand
It was sent as.
Mesnevi 5th volume – 3676 – Translated by Vehbi Taşar