Towards comfort in close relationships |  Life

Towards comfort in close relationships | Life



Wednesday, 14 July 2021

These days, I find myself in a more comfortable place in terms of close relationships than I have ever been before. I am in such a relief and lightness that pufff… Fears, anxieties, hesitations; they have largely abandoned the environment and now it feels like I can easily run around in the open area. Thank you, thank you very much…

Getting close to women has been an issue for me from time to time. I think I’ve written before, maybe it was easier when there was an obvious attraction, but when it wasn’t like that, I held back in many cases when it came to evaluating, looking at, experiencing possibilities and wonders; I didn’t take(a) some steps…

Of course, there are various reasons behind this holdback that I can see and cannot see. Those who know me closely may be surprised to hear this from me, but from time to time, root beliefs such as worthlessness / inadequacy stopped me, sometimes arrogant states that did not consider the other party worthy of me; sometimes performance concerns; some extremely fine-grained weaves (excessive selectivity); sometimes questions, reservations and fears that come to my mind like “What if I take a step and then want to step back and it upsets him…”; some of what i can see.

I’m in a process where these things are falling off me, I think…

If I wanted to reduce this process to one word, I would say “liberation”. Liberation from fears, dirt in my mind, learned things, roles, overthinking the other side… And then, to strengthen my connection with the being I call myself, and above all, the courage to realize what he wants, feels and desires and to take my steps towards them. ..

In this process, full transparency and openness are unquestionably and unquestionably a must for me. To start with sincerity to myself and to ensure this in the same way with the people in front of me. What I want, what I don’t want; what I desire; what are my reservations-fears; what are my expectations; and to hear and listen to the other in the same way… And if we intersect, it’s great to relate from there…

As long as we bring absolute honesty to the field and do not compromise on this, I think that many of the issues we have difficulty with will be easily resolved. When there are hidden agendas, thoughts that cannot be shared, shame and other emotions that cannot be seen but not illuminated, and the inability to connect with yourself, it is inevitable that things will turn into a mess. Which seems to be the case for the most part, when I look at relationships…

It seems to me that things will get a lot easier when we accept both wholeheartedly and mentally that everything is possible, that we don’t have to fit into any mold that we remember as “normal”, that we don’t need to put ourselves into any relationship format. In this case, we will stay in touch with the situations, states and experiences that our essence wants to experience and we will pursue it. We will be able to convey these to ourselves, and then to everyone, without shame, hesitation or fear, and we will kiss each other from our intersections.

These clusters will sometimes lead us to intense togetherness and associations; sometimes we will touch each other lightly; sometimes it will pass tangentially, and sometimes we will not even come close at all. But in any case, as long as we can establish the internal and external connection; Whatever should be, whatever wants to be, will appear.

At this point, there is no need for account-book, accounting. People who are able to connect with themselves and each other as deeply and transparently as possible, who are open to expressing whatever is out there, will live what they need to live perfectly. Sometimes it will take a few minutes, sometimes a day, sometimes a lifetime; sometimes it will be just a conversation, sometimes accompanied by deep feelings, sometimes sexual contact… But it will happen as it should. After always keeping the internal/external connection, being self-aware and fulfilling the necessity of being yourself, it is not possible to be a mistake or a mistake!

All this does not mean that in this case, we will not experience any sadness, sadness or mourning. This too will come and we will give it its due. The intersection set with the one in front of me may be narrow according to my expectations, maybe even too wide compared to the other; Or I will be in a different state when the person in front of me thinks that we intersect, for example, and in these cases there will be conflicts, conflicts and yes, someone will be upset. However, since we are related within the framework of absolute transparency and honesty, there will be no crime or criminal; Experiences and emotions that arise and need to be lived will emerge only because situations, energies and vibrations do not intersect as we expected… all of which will make us even more present, make it easier for us to find ourselves and grow.

Yes, it takes some courage; Being yourself, staying in touch with yourself, being alert and self-aware at all times is a huge and never-ending, full-time job and it can be very tiring at times. It may be easier to give what is expected of us, to live it, to live with the shirts they put on us… This is also very unpleasant; Isn’t it enough that we live with conditioning, memorization, hiding behind our fears, wearing masks? Why do you think the world is such a tasteless and saltless place for most of us?

In order to access taste and salt, we must first reach ourselves. Not only about the close relationships covered in this article, of course, but also for the whole of life.


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