Hello, although we have not been able to visit my wife’s family lately, this is a problem that has been going on for a while. I am a very meticulous person. From the cleaning of my house to the ingredients I use in cooking, I am very sensitive. Before Ramadan, we were going to visit my wife’s family from time to time. I have observed several times that they do not wash their salad ingredients cleanly and are not very careful about cleaning in general. For this reason, I don’t feel like eating.
I have had this inevitably a few times and my wife noticed it. When he asked me why, I explained it properly to him, but he tried to defend his family by saying that he had eaten and lived there for years. Although I did not explain the situation with a harsh language, he went on the defensive like this. I leave the food without my help, I use it by wiping my cutlery. I really do not care about the disease in this regard, but I do not hesitate to pay attention to it.
As far as I understand, my wife’s family also made it to her a few times. I never think my behavior is condescending or derogatory, I do them involuntarily. Besides, I think what I do is not a fault, they should be more attentive. During this period we were staying at home, we had a couple of discussions with my wife and our discussions came out of this issue. The past is finished, but he cannot accept these little reactions I do.
In my opinion, my husband is much more meticulous than his family. In addition, there is nothing that I can not give away with my family, I love and count them very well. This is only due to the importance they give to hygiene. When I go to their house, I don’t feel like eating their salads made from their lettuce that has not been washed properly. I don’t feel like doing this just for my wife. I don’t want this to turn into a problem between us.
It feels like trying to talk to my mother-in-law to fix the problem is useless, but I have a feeling that I might face bigger reactions. What should I do, what should I do?