Equality benefits everyone. Do you believe that when gender equality is truly achieved, men will also benefit from it, and men will also be liberated. The chains of men are also tied through gender. By “saving” women.
This protective and watchful role is primarily determined by mothers at a very young age. We see that the words “your mother is entrusted to you” are loaded on little children. “At least we have a man on our head” jokes are made around 7-8 year old children, half jokingly half serious. Mothers – mainly parents – are the child’s strongholds in which they should feel safe. At least they should be. However, those boys are told that “you are the castle”. The boy is confronted with the fact that the castle he should protect himself is essentially a castle that should be protected by himself. Is it possible to feel safe in this state?
We see the most concrete form of this “motherland” that needs to be protected in the “motherland”, and of course, the homeland must be protected by men. All this phenomenon of guard Mehmetçik comes into being through protecting the “mother” and the homeland. When talking about occupied countries in English, the pronoun “she” is used, let’s think about why. Let’s think about the homeland, which has been feminized through the discourse of “homeland is honor”.
Speaking of honor, we can continue with partners. Boys who were brought up with the fact that they were protecting their mother while they were still a boy, one day they grow up and become adults. This time he crosses paths with an emotional partner. Surprised, yes, he has to protect her too. If a girl is insulted on the street, she should go back and beat those who talk. Even if they are very crowded, they must be beaten when necessary. Because masculinity is needed. Otherwise, she will find a “what kind of man are you” like a ball of light in her arms.
Since so many risks were taken, this scourge of masculinity was beaten. Since that person had to be a guardian knight, then the guardian who protects the rules also puts it. “Don’t dress like that, don’t go there, don’t laugh like that.” “Don’t get me in trouble.” He cannot be the subject of your life because that partner is in this approach. He is responsible to his family and partner for every step he takes. Otherwise, it will make them black. The consequences of his actions do not arise on him alone. It becomes almost public.
The same man will become a father one day. If the boy became the father of the child, the film is remade in the same way. There is no difference here. And yet he became the father of a daughter. Then the picture changes. This time, “I will wash the world with a drop of my daughter’s tears” begins. Because masculinity demands it. While the masculine capacity of the knight man progresses from childhood to youth, from youth to adulthood; It is accepted that the need for protection of the party that he is obliged to protect increases from mother to partner, from partner to child. The same girls become reluctant to tell their father when a danger comes to them, because they need to “do not let an accident happen to your father”. This state of over-protection often poses a risk of insecurity, not safety, for children.
It is a system that prevents the mother from being an individual, the partner from being an individual, and the daughter from being an individual. Another subject shackled by all this pile of obstacles is those knightly men. Our men are the men who are always expected to be brave, always strong, and always “male”.
Do not do this. Don’t do it to anyone. If you’re a woman, don’t do it. If you’re a man, don’t do it. Let’s not.