17 July 2018
“I see you.”
That’s what I call it whenever I come across a piece of mine that has never been seen before.
You scared You’re hurting or tired. You struggled, but it didn’t happen. You are broken or disappointed.
I see you. You there
We want our loved ones to see me, those we are in a relationship with … Let them hear. Sometimes he says something like that, then we just freeze there. With the pain of being unseen. Hence unheard and unrecognized.
It was a time ago, but I can’t remember how long ago now. I realized; that I will never really be seen. I cried. I am angry with everyone who cannot see. Then I calmed down. I faced it.
After working with dozens of nature, I know that all of us can only see the other person from the window of our own dynamics in a very, very limited way. And even the world. Our capacity to understand the other is limited by our capacity to understand ourselves. It is also a matter of seeing, hearing and accepting. The more we accept, the more we stretch, and only then do the windows expand. There is no guarantee that we will be seen as we really are.
First of all, despair takes over when a person accepts it.
But then you realize that seeing yourself and accepting yourself is your responsibility first.
The more I dared to look, the more I saw, and the more compassion I gave myself … The acceptance came to me. Progressively, of course. Step by step. Grains. And still unopened boxes to be seen.
When I see myself, when I love it, when I accept it … I can open up space for both myself and the other whenever I am in a relationship. Things are changing. Now I don’t have a long narrative about what has changed, but it is. It is expanding. He is relieved.
So whenever I see a part of me that has never been seen before, I look at it. Without getting angry, tugging, judging. I’m asking about your condition, listening to your voice. I let it open to me.
I see, hear, hug.
I think such a thing is the self-compassion that blossoms in me …