I participated in a very strong work that started last week and ended two days ago. This study, which is predominantly about sexuality, of course, touched many other issues and places. Because sexuality is a phenomenon that is at the very center of life and touches many areas, although we ignore it and exist as a taboo for many of us in many ways. After all, the reason we came to the world, what else could you ask for?
And, of course, an experience that has the potential to make us rush to enjoyment is one of the methods of enlightenment adventure and at the same time the source of many trauma, fear, anxiety; An incredibly powerful energy that we avoid, ignore, hesitate, and the more inevitable we come across …
What a blessing it was to have worked around this issue for six consecutive days, thank God. In the first two or three days, I found all the difficulties, troubles, worries and fears that I had in close relationships and sexuality, which I was a little aware of but generally ignored, and which I refrained from going on, in my lap in the first two or three days. It was nice too, ohh!
After this meeting, I have taken this subject, which I am not interested in enough due to my more important (?) Works and occupations in life, to my center / I take it. Teachers, gurus (at least some of them) say that whatever we do and whatever we do before the congestion is resolved, we will be blocked at some point, and I was already agreeing with it as an idea, but now it’s crystallized.
I don’t know about you, but my dear mother and father did not make the slightest attempt on this matter. While I was growing up, we never talked about these issues, I didn’t get any information from them; We always pretended not to exist. There was no sexual education in schools either in my time (I don’t know if there is any now). In short, a lot of us have heard something false, partly from our friends, partly exposed to crazy things from the porn industry, partly head / eye injury, we tried to learn something by experiencing. Very few of us were informed and informed by adults and parents.
More important than information, etc. is actually that sexuality is always ignored and not seen as a natural part of life. What should be carried out behind closed doors, not much talked about; Although almost every one of us is struggling with this energy, it is a subject that is left in a private space, treated as if it does not exist in daily life, and often even partners cannot talk about it!
Well, then, of course, we have accumulated a lot of ridiculous experiences, trauma, fear, this and that. Ahh!
We were about 50 people in the study, and we split into groups of eight and formed mini groups and spent 45 minutes with this group every morning. It is a space where we can share how we are, what we are going through, our celebrations, our difficulties and whatever is alive in us … In one of these – for some reason it was not spoken at the moment – the following sentence awoke in me: “I am a sexual being. ” (Since most of the participants were foreigners, we were speaking English in the group and the English of this sentence came true, and for some reason it sounds more correct: “I am a sexual being.”)
I’ve repeated this over and over inside me, I am a sexual being; I am a sexual being … It sounded so good … So yeah, it’s no secret; I guess I can confidently say that we are somehow aware that storks have not brought us at least, that we have not been blessed enough, not celebrated, and not focused on this energy that seeps into us with adolescence and we live together in one way or another, that seriously directs our lives. A big congratulations and gratitude to the exceptions, but we can probably claim that more than 99% of us are this way. Most of us experience sexuality in one way or another, but there is a lot of debris and pollution here, and it seems to me that it is very important and even critical to face them, to go through them, to clean this area.
These ideas are not new to me, but I was thinking at a more intellectual level; Now I want to work with these parties from a much stronger place. Again for years, I was excited to open up spaces like intimate / romantic relationship circles, but obviously I’ve been waiting for this all this time. I think we are coming there. You didn’t think I’d make this journey alone, did you? :))
I will probably continue to write about this …