Most things that are culturally rewarded are actually actions that cause self-harm. We don’t always label these actions that way because they give us social status or allow us to get approval from our parents / friends.
We have been programmed with beliefs about ‘success’ since childhood. What it is to be a good person, what qualities / feelings it is right to explain, and which ones to be completely rejected or suppressed.
Holistic Psychologist Nicole LePera says: “This is why I constantly struggle with the idea of ’clinical depression’ or ‘clinical anxiety’.” These situations are so common that we rarely question their causes. Examples; We diagnose and treat beliefs that have created such a depressed, disconnected, disappointed and lost community without looking.
1- To work hard / to be very successful / to progress continuously: Having dreams and ambitions are gifts that allow us to test ourselves and create what we want to see. Consciously being ambitious or taking shelter under the adjective ‘workaholic’ often means avoiding the path to chronic unhappiness.
2- Self-sacrifice behavior, which is described as love: We often label or reward people who prioritize others over themselves as virtuous people. This behavior often causes us to be offended and ultimately disconnect from the people we love because we betrayed ourselves during this process. We cannot give this priority to others without giving ourselves priority.
3- To push our financial limits to keep up with others: This behavior causes us to constantly compare ourselves to others and cause constant stress.
4- Always being available by phone: This is especially rewarded in the family and in the work environment. It causes boundaries to be blurred and resentful.
5- Social media injury: This situation occurs when we consume content without a break and puts us in a cycle of emotional dependence. These platforms use our dopamine and cortisol hormones to keep us using them. They make us feel helpless and they describe a world that doesn’t reflect the truth.
6- Not quitting a job, never giving up: It is nice to complete a job despite all the difficulties. However, we have a false belief that giving up is wrong or will cause us to fail. Giving up on unresolved matters and trying new things is actually the path to happiness.
Translated by: Dilara Preserve
Reference: Holistic Psychologist Nicole LePera. Self harm that is rewarded by society. Taken from: https://www.instagram.com/p/CO5qc8-AGYA/