On the way from ego to self “How to get rid of ego?” The question is frequently asked and ways to get rid of the ego are sought. “How can the ego be defeated?” those who seek the way to deal with the ego and break the ego It searches for various methods expressed as, applies to affirmations. Well, can the ego actually be our friend? How do we balance the ego? To understand the ego correctly Evolutionary Astrologer and Psychologist Gonca Crowd we talked to
Defeating the ego, getting rid of the ego, breaking the ego, reducing or even killing the ego… On the other hand, satisfying, nurturing and strengthening the ego… Looking at the desires for individual development, minds seem somewhat confused. If we start from the beginning, what exactly is the ego really? How to define the ego?
The ego has become confusing because of really different definitions, especially spiritual evolution, for people who have intent on the path of evolution, “What are we going to do with this ego now?” The question appears. Just before that “What is the soul?” I like to mention the part of it. We define the soul as our unchangeable and fixed true self. When the soul becomes identified with the body, the ego comes out of here. Sri Yukteshwar this, “The Creator granting his creatures the right to choose and to leave himself.” as he describes it. The soul descends into the world with the desire to leave the source, just as the baby leaves the mother’s womb, and is filled with the desire to return to the source as it discovers itself. It needs its self, the ego, to discover itself.
As an example, I always talk about going to a mall with a 5-year-old child. Let’s say the boy’s feet have grown and we need to buy a new shoe. Our aim is to buy shoes. If that kid didn’t have growing feet, we wouldn’t even go there. The AVM is a lively, colorful, spirited, distracting place. The child will want to enter the arcade, playground, buy new toys from the toy store, chocolates from the market, and crayons from the stationery. So to speak, we do not intend to kill that child, we direct him towards our goal. “Look, we have so much time, so much energy, so much budget. We cannot do all of them, but you can choose one ”and we team up with him and act like that. The ego is something like that.
Who put us in that shopping mall for our evolution, “Who am I? Why did I come here? What is my purpose here? “ the thing that asks the ego. Jung describes the ego as our conscious self. We need a strong ego, that is, a self, in order to be able to recognize the directions that come to us from the subconscious and bring them to light. We need awareness.
In Bhagavad Gita, it is mentioned as “The ego can be the best friend or the enemy of the soul”. An ego with high awareness and internalization is our soul’s best friend. Goethe, Hacı Bayram Veli, Yunus Emre, Pir Sultan Abdal, Mevlana All enlightened and guiding spirits such as “You know you first”, “Know yourself, know yourself” say. This is the Ego thing called “Yourself.”
Our soul chose a vehicle, body and a driver are required for that vehicle; ego! Then maybe we can call the journey “Educating” or “Acting as a team”. But first I would like to say that we cannot get anywhere by trying to kill the ego.
In relationships or in some situations in life, we hear phrases such as “The Coming of the Ego”. There is talk of a dual situation such as deactivation and re-activation of the ego. Is the ego something that waits quietly and needs to be contained or is it a function?
Our relationships are our most valuable mirrors and areas of development. It is very precious to our soul. Although the journey of the soul begins internally, then we only meet the outside. In other words, I think that no one should be given a relationship license without knowing oneself. Definition of ego to minds ‘selfishness’ When it is settled, the situation here is actually a call to “Disengage your ego, stop being selfish”.
Let’s think of ourselves as a bagel seller. When we become a bagel seller, we look at those bagels wonderfully, we protect them, we do not want to drop them, because we will present them to the world. However, if we become “simitcil”, we sit down and eat all the bagels, and nobody will be left with anything. This is the distinction between being selfish and being selfish.
If I know myself, know my way, know my abilities, know my soul’s purpose, then I can begin to serve the world. Thanks to my strong ego, if I know, understand, transform, work on myself and discover myself, I can present my fragrance and talents to the world. But if I’m selfish, out of self-awareness “Always my wishes, always my needs, my attachment problems, my parental wounds, my past traumas” and I start to reflect all my shadow that I could not discover or face. If there is someone who is not very close to me and does not get attached to me, instead of expressing my fear or looking at this trauma, “I have a connection problem” he says and runs away – I play The Desolate Man. So I reflect. However, the ego must first develop and strengthen so that when I come to the relationship, I can be “One” without losing myself. Let me give my aroma before it melts, let me see the needs of the other person as well as my own needs. In our culture, the side we listen to is the “very giving” side. According to him, he always tried, but the other person is selfish.
Being able to say “no” is also part of a strong self. Not only to give, but also a lot “No” we must learn to say in relationships. Then we can reach the point of “Service independent of fruit” and “Service without self” that we imagine. I wish we all knowingly (ego) enter into that big playground, namely relationships… In astrology, we call it owning your Moon, Mars and Venus. If we all know the needs of our souls and embrace them, we will stop reflecting on others and experience growing together, which is a wonderful garden of paradise.
What kind of ego do we need? Need health and balance in ego? So how do we get it?
First of all, “Who am I? Why am I here? What is my purpose? What are my abilities? What can I give to the world? ” We need an ego that asks and questions. Intended to be aware of himself with consciousness, who dare, question, stand in between and use what he has learned for service … Who can find the balance between self-seeking and being selfish. “Where is this desire from?” able to ask …
For example, there is one last slice of cake left in the office kitchen, you have already beaten your own right. But you are looking at it, and nobody buys it, and it craves. There “What does this request serve?” should be able to ask.
“I wonder if anyone doesn’t eat the cake? Is that the part that was reserved for someone else?
What harm / benefit will it do to me if I eat it?
What harm / benefit will it do to someone else if I eat it? Does this desire and decision come from the heart or is it from the mind? “
Here, unfortunately, when we equate the ego as the general sense with selfishness, we can say “This comes from selfishness”. But the healthy ego is the self that can do this questioning, and if it can finally say, “Mine is just jerking, somebody else should take that last piece”, it is not from a defeated place, but to be able to do it with determination, thought and confidence. Not deserving the last piece, but thinking beyond yourself, having thought and decided properly, even if it eats that piece.
We need an ego that can guide us with conscious courage and awareness, let’s know ourselves so that we can move beyond ourselves – into unity.
“I can never be without knowing me, I cannot be one without knowing me.” The master who can do this in the world is enough to be counted with a finger. We are all on the road, we are all learning. Each of our teachers “Free from ego” should not be considered as. As human beings, our basic need is ego, I hope we can all come to the point of unity independent of ego – self, but up to that point I can say that our ego is our most valuable tool.
How do we recognize the healthy ego and look objectively at our own ego?
As I mentioned above, at the point of looking objectively, For example, if I know that sometimes I can be a bit “nagging”, if I have known myself and faced this shadow, I can pause for a while and ask myself questions when I need to ‘nag’. “I know this is what I need. But I know that I can hurt the other person while meeting this need freely. “ being able to say provides this. The first rule of life is harmlessness. Then how can I meet my needs without hurting them? Can i take a breath Can I make it a little thinner? How much do I need to express?
So the purpose is not to give up the statement but “How?” you need to play with the part a little bit. For this, I first need to know and accept that I am a ‘nagger’. At this point, I would like to add by underlining the following. This is not “Bad”. This is the way the world exists in its opposite, and we are not beings to be corrected, repaired, shaped, we are human beings and we harbor our oppositions as human beings. All we need is to grow up, just like a child… So from a healthy ego when we look We are not nagging, unbearable and bad. If we need to nag, “How can I magnify this journey of my soul and make it contribute to the spiritual journey of all my human brothers and sisters that I am on the same ship, like the leaves of a tree? can be viewed from an angle that says. Believe me, nagging can also be a gift when used correctly.
One of the unhealthy ego signs is our inner voice. “You couldn’t, you couldn’t, you are not so good, that person is better than you, successful” If we follow this inner voice that I call “inner nag,” we can understand when our ego went astray. Because the person who ‘beats’ himself gets angry with someone else. Then perseverance turns into ambition. As such, the ego exhibits its shadow rather than its positive function.
What is defined as the inner power is waiting to be awakened and used in both physical and spiritual studies. Could our inner strength actually be ego? So can awakening inner strength be healthy ego? How would you comment?
I can define the ego as the vehicle that leads to our inner strength. To discover oneself, to know its shadows, to recognize its needs, to be able to be specific to the needs of the soul and body our inner strength. Astrologyso this Ay It can be defined with. For example, some of us need to remain silent at the moment of discussion, some of us to hear matter and matter, some of us to discuss and finish immediately … Only if we know our special needs for our own soul, body and ego, we can take our power into our hands. We know where to say “No” so that we do not force the other person to be a person they are not.
We can be functional if we know our limits. When we are exhausted and tired, we will not be able to provide that service beyond ourselves. Therefore, from time to time to specify what we want, and from time to time to specify what we do not want. strong, firm and rooted does. The first way to do this is to make peace with our ego, to discover it well, to know it, to be curious and to question it. In the second, being able to adopt a service beyond these comes with submission, acceptance and creativity. At this point, we can call the first step of the ego as masquerade and the second step as feminine.
Can the ego be interpreted differently in fields or teachings other than psychology? How should our relationship with the ego be in the holistic approach?
In the systems I work in, yoga, evolutionary astrology, shamanic astrology, and psychology are always defined in the same way. Conscious self.
Interview: Senem Tahmaz