You are in the office, focused on your work or at home, working on something important to you for hours. How would you feel if someone came to cover your laptop, grab your pen or skewers and tell you to leave it right away, when you are in your shell, just about to finish? Like your right has been beaten? Or was it disrespectful? In this case, your child is not much different from you.
Play is a childhood profession, and it is very important for parents to acknowledge and appreciate this fact. The child sees the game he plays as ‘profession’. What he has created, constructed, modeled or drawn; No matter what kind of world, role or stage he created, these are important for the child. Their work is ingenious and meaningful; just like your presentation, cleaning or knitting … More importantly, your child’s job represents newly acquired skills and abilities.
When we, as parents, announce that playtime is over, we essentially ask our child to leave the ship, perhaps when he manages to take full rudder. Standing halfway through the creation process creates difficulties at times for young children; especially when the child’s main goal is to have control – which we suppress this need by acting like this.
Of course, the hours of the game eventually come to an end. However, it is important to know that our children do not always have to collect what they distribute. Sometimes we can let them leave their toys and creations around. Yes, his room is already overflowing. Our sense of drowning in toys and mess can get even more, but when we act in this way, when we allow our children to keep their “work”, we send a strong message of respect and appreciation for the time and effort they put into their projects.
When you feel your child is reluctant to remove their toys or projects, show them that you understand the importance of their actions by telling them they don’t have to collect them. Try telling your child:
- “You don’t have to collect it! You can keep your works “
- “Let’s write your name on your toy so no one touches it”
- “You don’t have to throw this away; but we have to remove it. Let’s find a safe place to put this “
- “You tried very hard for this; Let’s take a picture of it before lifting it up ”
- “We need to remove some of this; but we can leave a little bit of it. You choose which part to hide “
- “What a beautiful thing you have done! Let’s find a place to hang this so that we can always see it “
- “We have to finish the game clock. Would you like to take some of your toy with you? “
- “It’s your time to go; but here I will keep an eye on your toys. They will be safe “
The willingness to indulge and negotiate collection sends countless messages to the child and shapes many of the basic behaviors and skills we want our children to acquire. For example:
- The ability to be flexible
- Being able to tolerate things not going the way they want
- Respect and appreciation
- Being able to honor the time, ideas, and effort put into doing something special
Moreover, it shows our children that we don’t have to keep constant control. We don’t have to be a game changer that constant parenting often requires. Sometimes we can just let things go – even though it’s a difficult practice for most parents.
Another benefit of not having your child mess up often: Transitions after playtime do not cause you to have difficulties; because it created a strong and positive connection; You sent a message of acceptance and respect by letting your toys stay outside.
As soon as they are positively attached to you, their ability to move on improves and their chances of letting their projects disappear dramatically increase. So try it. Do not insist on your child to collect it all the time. Show that you truly respect your important “work”; Be sure, it makes a lot more sense for your child.
Rachel Cedar. “Instead Of Telling Your Kids To Clean Up, Try This Instead”. Şuradan alındı: https://www.scarymommy.com/stop-forcing-kids-pick-up-after-themselves/