Correct communication in the mother-father-child triangle is also very important for their social, emotional and academic development. First of all, it should never be forgotten that children are individuals. The communication between the parents and the child forms the basis of the communication they will establish for a lifetime. In a positive parent-child relationship, it is necessary to give love and trust to the child, to have the right speech technique and to be a good listener. As little individuals, children experience difficulties and problems regardless of their age in the intense pace of life. In order to maintain the communication between the child and the family, it is necessary to spend quality time, to give them the opportunity to express themselves, to rest their problems and to empathize. Neurologist Dr. Mehmet Yavuz states that passing off children with stereotyped sentences causes communication interruptions.
Kids don’t like adults whose goal is to get obedience only. Adults constantly use counsel or imperative to get their words heard, and there is always a desire to establish authority in their tones. While trying to dominate, constantly giving automated answers and reactions does not increase the self-worth of the child. The child gets the idea that he is worthless and loses self-confidence. Moreover, such an approach will not contribute to the solution of the problem. As a result of the reactions caused by negative feelings and thoughts, after a while, the child will start to ignore your feelings. For example; When you throw away a toy of your child that is old for you and needs to be discarded without feeling the need to get his opinion, he will feel ignored and he will treat you the same way.
When communicating with children, it is necessary to apply some basic principles in order to give correct responses. Particularly common concern of working mothers is about the quality of their communication as they spend most of the day without seeing their child. You may need to show the child the attention he needs when you are very busy. It is necessary to put aside what you are busy with at the moment, try to stay calm and be ready to communicate and think about what it needs. Interest and right questions will strengthen communication with the child. If you make you feel that you understand him, he will definitely be sensitive about understanding you.
You can give the child enough attention and love from infancy and make him feel that you are trying to understand and accept him. It is possible to send positive messages both verbally and non-verbally. Since the mental functions of children are not as developed as that of an adult, it is very important to get down to their level when communicating. Children’s vocabulary is not as extensive as the adults. It is necessary to make simple sentences that can be understood according to the age group. While doing this, eye contact should be made while communicating, if necessary, by sitting or hugging.
When you listen to your child, you show that you care about what he or she wants to say. To be a good listener; You should make eye contact and wait for your child to finish the sentence without interrupting when speaking. After the words are finished, repeat as much as you understand so that he can understand that he is listening. When communicating, ask open-ended questions that are not conclusive, but continuing. Some sentences you can use in communication with your child can contribute to your effective communication. For example, you can make comments such as “I want to listen to you”, “What do you think about this topic?”, “Is there anything else you want to tell?”, “I’m listening”, “Interesting”. Effective communication takes effort, the sooner you start it, the more positive your communication with your child will develop.
Insulting and lecturing speech damages effective communication. Value your child’s feelings and thoughts rather than criticize them. In situations where criticism is required, do this without exaggeration so that the child does not lose self-confidence. Do not bring up the past problems and mistakes over and over again, because this will damage your relationship. Instead of being indifferent to your child’s feelings, denying them or saying they are wrong, accept their feelings and support them where necessary. Nobody likes someone who tries to give orders, so instead of giving orders to your child, present what he or she has to do as an option when appropriate. Providing the child with the opportunity to choose one of the alternatives offered to him will increase his self-confidence. Since children take their parents as role models for them, it is necessary to pay attention to the communication you establish with other people besides your child. Children who talk to themselves and each other by constantly shouting and reprimanding show the same behavior to their parents and siblings. When you manage to communicate with your child correctly, when you make him feel that you believe and trust him, your child will discover the potential that exists in him, his self-love and respect will develop and he will become a successful individual.