Advice for mothers who feel inadequate |  Mother

Advice for mothers who feel inadequate | Mother

Before you became a mother, maybe you were doing wonders in your business life. You were accomplishing many things in life, doing many things together. However, when you became a mother, you re-opened your eyes to the world in an area you have never known before. Maybe you confess inside out, “I’m not used to my baby.” Do not feel inadequate! As a new mom, we have a few tips to help you feel more confident.

The good news is that there is a constant opportunity to develop your competence as a mother. This is your baby’s continuous development and every new day brings new opportunities. Remember that every baby is born with its own temperament and genetic background. If you believe in astrology, it can be said that even the natal chart has an impact on what you will experience. Even if you want to mother your baby in the best way, first relax and remind yourself that it is not possible to keep everything under control. It is better for you to be realistic than to set high standards. Remember the concept of “good enough motherhood” and repeat often that you’ve done your best. For expert advice on this subject You can read the article “5 important suggestions for being a good enough mother”.

Some people tend to accept a single source as the most accurate. When it comes to your baby, it should be reminded that the main resource is actually your own baby. Well, shouldn’t he ever read a book? Of course no. Marriage and family therapist Katie Ziskind says: “It’s true that you need a lot of information to increase your self-confidence. It is a good idea to use books, videos, online workshops, and trial and error methods all. I recommend a mix of these. ” If you feel inadequate as a new mother, scan the sources of information around you instead of going alone on issues that are constantly on your mind. But do not force yourself to stick to one, to implement all applications. Look for balance and find your center.

It is useful to consult experienced people for answers to your questions about maternity and baby care. Moms with older children, forum sites, whatsapp groups can expand your vision, but don’t make them your center. After scanning the sources of information, take a little time to stay with your own inner voice. Before putting information into practice, weigh it well. If you don’t make a decision and find that you spend most of your time between different sources of information, take a look at what you really need. Perhaps all you need is just socializing or getting approval. Don’t get caught up in the first information you see and filter the information you come across. At the end of the day, be sure to include your inner voice in the decision-making phase.

How is your dialogue with yourself? “It’s not happening”, “I can’t”, “It’s not the way I want it”, “Will it always stay like this?”… Stop if you realize that you are often saying this while caring for your baby and conducting maternity-related affairs. You are likely to be doing yourself unfairly. What would you say to a friend in the same situation as you? “Everyone can do it. What would you say to your friend who said, “I guess I just can’t do it”? As a new mom, you would probably highlight your friend, who feels inexperienced, what she’s been up to and what she’s been doing wonderfully. That way, be your own best friend. Criticizing yourself doesn’t make you a better mother. Remind yourself that you have achieved a lot despite your messy sleep and diet. You are doing your best under these conditions, believe it.

After you become a mother, it is possible to feel a distance between you and your childless friends. Although they treat you with understanding, your agenda has changed considerably now. It may be difficult or even meaningless to adapt to the topics you used to talk to with your friends while determining your baby’s daily schedule all your time. Remember that this is a transition and adaptation process. It will be a relief to make new friends to share babysitting and motherhood issues. Thus, conversations with your childless friends remind you of a different side of you and help you relax spiritually. Be assertive in establishing friendships with mothers who have just given birth and raised their babies like you. Don’t be afraid to start a conversation with new moms you see in places like the doctor’s waiting room and the park. Even experiencing the “I’m not alone” feeling changes a lot.

When a baby is born, everyone around is ready to give advice to the new mother. No matter how well-meaning these recommendations are, they can become uncomfortable when expressed inadvertently. Hearing advice on every detail of baby care can make you feel that you are not doing anything right after a while. Protecting your own space and mood is important to both you and your baby. The way to protect this is to define the boundaries. Try to simply say “Thank you for the advice” or change the subject rather than making lengthy statements or advocacy, especially if the intervention from elders makes you uncomfortable. While it may not be possible to prevent people getting involved, what you have to do is determine how much the advice will affect you. Repeat this to yourself; “There is no single way to be a good parent. I find my own way. “

Remember the things you did well

There are many things you can do skillfully before becoming a mother. As an adult, you dealt with many issues, and if there was any, you were paid for tons of work from where you worked. Even if you are a newbie in baby care, remember that you are a master or even a professional at many other things. Many of the things you can do have brought you to this day as your life skill. Since having a pregnancy and a birth is already a success in itself, it is in vain that you feel inadequate about baby care! Everyone is inexperienced and learns over time. Remember that you can only be the best at being your baby’s mother. He’s your baby. See enjoying every day you live.

Article: Senem Tahmaz

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