Self-confidence in psychology is expressed as a result of a person’s general perception of himself. “Self-confidence” is defined as knowing oneself, being able to express their needs and desires, and acting in order to provide and realize them.
Knowing yourself includes knowing your strengths and weaknesses. So the person:
-awareness of his abilities,
– acknowledge and develop what skills they need to improve.
These two form the basis of the “I can achieve” belief and confidence, the “I can” feeling required to achieve their goals or solve a problem they face.
The failure of a person to believe that he can achieve his goals, desires or solve a problem he faces is called “lack of self-confidence”.
Since the person believes that he / she cannot reach, he / she avoids asking himself what he / she really wants and setting goals.
Adult (s) say, “Let go, you can’t.” Exposure to such words and approaches is the main reason preventing the formation of self-confidence.
Shyness, shyness, being introverted, avoiding expressing wishes and needs, avoiding taking responsibility are the most obvious signs of a lack of self-confidence. A person who has the feeling of “I can’t” hesitates to express his wishes and needs and to solve problems. His inner voice that criticizes and judges his actions and behavior accompanies them.
Human experiences from early childhood are what feed this negative inner voice. Adult (s) say, “Let go, you can’t.” Exposure to such words and approaches is the main reason preventing the formation of self-confidence. The failures faced in the early education period are also one of the obstacles in the person’s self-confidence building.
Self-confidence is built from early childhood. The person can improve their self-confidence by transforming their general perception of themselves into positive. It can strengthen the belief that one can achieve it by adopting an optimistic and realistic approach, the feeling of “I can”.
Every new habit means the formation of a new neuron network. The time required for a new neuron network to form is 21 days.
In cognitive-behavioral psychology theories, phobia is defined as the behavior that a person learns and strengthens. It is false information that causes the phobia. Misinformation is the result of one’s beliefs and thoughts. If this information is rearranged, the phobia will disappear. For example, someone with a dog phobia says, “Dog bites.” has knowledge. Because he was bitten by the dog and he believes that all dogs have bitten. However, the correct information is, “Not all dogs bite.” The thing to do to alleviate the phobia is to insert the correct information.
Could the same point of view apply to self-esteem? “I can not do.” instead of the false belief, “I can.” Can self-confidence be built and strengthened by establishing the true belief? Why not? Saying “I can’t” is a form of behavior in which one reinforces the beliefs acquired through experience with a negative inner voice. So he needs experiences that show he can. That way he can replace false information – “I can’t.” – with correct information – “I can.”
There are some exercises he can do for this. For example, to make a habit of repeating the positive of the negative adjectives and words he uses about himself. However, this method requires verifying positive sentences that the person repeats with behaviors. Otherwise, the brain does not see any concrete evidence and does not accept the words repeated. If it has difficulty developing new behaviors, the person does not continue to use the method.
Cognitive-behavioral psychology researchers have applied Seligman’s method to self-esteem.
There is another method that is applied to embed positive and accurate information about self-confidence and can achieve significant results in a short time. Psychologist Martin Seligman, researcher and lecturer at the University of Pennsylvania, who introduced the concept of Positive Psychology, inspired the method. Cognitive-behavioral psychology researchers have applied to self-confidence the method Seligman suggested to keep a thank-you notebook and write three good things that make you feel good every day in this notebook.
The brain continues to process the information it receives at the alpha frequency even after falling asleep.
The following was requested from the research participants:
1. Writing down 3 behaviors that they are proud of every day in a notebook. These were simple acts like going on a date or saying no to your child.
2. To simply explain why you are proud. To describe in a few words what skill and ability each behavior reveals.
3. Reading aloud what you wrote in the notebook at the weekend and observing how you feel.
After a few weeks, the researchers saw that the participants’ self-confidence increased.
Maybe an activity that will take at most 10 minutes a day. Yet it is a fact that some would not prefer to write down their feelings. Well, wouldn’t it be without writing in a notebook? We can give a positive answer to this question based on neuroscience research. Because it is known that:
1. Before falling asleep, the brain switches to the alpha frequency, as during meditation, its activity decreases and relaxes. In this stage, where the creative right brain and the rational left brain are synchronized, the information it receives continues to process even after falling asleep.
2. The main requirement to get a new habit is “to repeat the same behavior without a break for 21 days”. Every new habit means the formation of a new neuron network. The time required for a new neuron network to form is 21 days. When the pause is paused, it is necessary to start over so that 21 rings (without breaking) can be connected to each other.
In this case, every evening, before falling asleep, to witness his own skills and abilities with 3 behaviors that make him proud; Presenting these to the brain as information that it will continue to process during sleep may be the first and fundamental stage of self-confidence exercises.
News: Perihan Özcan Chocardelle
Psychologies Hors-Série No: 58 July-August 2020